It sounds like hypomania to me...the agitation, anger, racing thoughts, etc. When I'm in the midst of such moods, it seems like they'll never end & I get angry with myself. Perhaps you don't believe it, but it sounds like the BP, which is certainly a dog from hell. BTW, I'm on disability, too, as are many on the boards. I feel guilty about that sometimes, but I know with my mood swings I was unable to hold down a job towards the end of my work career. Don't be quite so hard on yourself...I know, easier said than done.