Thanks everyone, including Lady Dragus and ltlredvett.

Here's the latest...

The woman whom I'm having an affair with offered me a way out, once again. She tells me that at anytime if I want out all I have to do is tell her and she'll understand. I feel relieved at this but at the same time I feel awful about it. I feel terrible about the whole thing. She really is a wonderful woman and she honours the truth. Had I have done this over again, I wouldn't have taken it as far as I have. If I continue on, it would only lead to disaster. Okay, so knowing that she honours the truth, I'm going to have to accept her offer of stepping out. I could have had her, but only if I was divorced and I said that I was divorced. There could have been a possibility that that wouldn't freak her out. Maybe not, maybe that's too unrealistic. My current marriage could still end, but not this way. Even if it is over now, there's no way that, for a lack of a better term and I hate using this :-(, "my mistress" would ever accept me. Never. I doubt I'll ever find someone like her again and that's probably what hurts the most. Yeah, I know she's only an internet girl. But so was the woman that I married.

Anyway, I already composed a letter to "my mistress" to the affect that I cannot sustain any kind of romantic relationship with her, stored in my draft folder to be read over, edited and will be sent out by Monday.

I'll be over it I hope and then I'll take the advice to see a therapist. I need to figure out if something in this marriage is making me unhappy or unsatisfied and go from there.

God help me get the strength to go through with this and let the healing process begin.

Once again, thanks for sharing your advice and personal stories and for not alienating me.