Quick update.

It's been a month now since I first ran across the aforementioned story and my situation has changed little.

For months even before this I had numerous bouts of OCD/ panic attacks while browsing the internet for porn. Fearing constantly that what I had viewed was potentially illegal or contained an underage actor or something similar even though the persons all appeared to be adults.

After some recent research I found out apparently what I'm suffering from is POCD. Apparently people stress out about potentially being a pedophile / child molester.

And now with this most recent problem I'm in a seemingly endless cycle of reassurance and reasoning with myself that despite reading this woman's memories of herself developing her fetish as a child, that I still am not the sort of person who wants to abuse children.

And there doesn't really seem to be a way out. I can't unread what I've read. I can't undo what I've done or what I think I've done. It's like a part of me is unable to be reasoned with. I can't move on.

Perhaps this is my conscience telling me that enough is enough; that I need to break away from the endless hours of browsing for porn and do something else with my free time.

I need some help.