kept having visions of my mother standing in the room with me

talking about death and how she'd finally succeeded in taking my life

and then after I spent hours wondering the room and realised she wasn't their I sat down and thought about all sorts of twisted weird science experiments my family would do on me if they had the chance

sometimes it's not enough

you ignore the contact, you distance yourself, but it still isn't enough.

it still messes with you

hmm should probably rest but can't

still feel pretty anxious after yesterday