Because it feels like this scarlet letter that has been thrust upon you. It's hard to accept. Plus the very act of diagnosing in psychiatry is subjective, where people get assigned some DSM code that can differ depending on the dr. Is it MDD or BP 2 or something else? And just bc two people have some symptoms in common they all get lumped into this one dx even tho all may need different treatments. It's all we have right now but compared to physical medicine tests it's pretty crappy science.

So on top of fighting the dx actually being a symptom of this beast, there is often also some real question of its validity. Especially when we have been dx with different letters by different docs for the same symptoms. Personally I think the whole diagnosis and labeling of mental disorders is a lot of bullshat. That doesn't mean the suffering isn't real or doesn't need to be treated, but putting people in neat little boxes with fancy labels and codes for insurance does not seem to be working all that great for a lot of people and has lead to misdiagnosis and being wrongly or under or over medicated.

I personally have no idea if all my mood problems are due to physical medication side effects, but since I can't stop those I suppose it doesn't really matter. Or maybe it still does. Idk. If getting a certain label means getting the right treatmeny than yah for the diagnosis label. But even with the correct dx, pdoc s are just often just throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks- its not very sceinctific.

I think some fighting of our diagnosis, at least in the beginning, is actually one of the most sane reactions somebody can have. Who the hell wants this? I sure don't.

I may take meds and go to therapy but I still don't totally believe it or embrace it and some pArt of me will probably always fight it. And imo That tiny bit of doubt has saved me as much as it has hurt me. Maybe I am totally full of crap but questioning is not always a bad thing. Refusing certain medications isn't always being noncompliant. There is some sanity and self preservation in not being okay with a diagnosis whose very existence will forever affect us.
So why do we fight it? Because we are human and don't want to be different or broken. I think it is just part of the journey of living w BP.