You also posted: "However, I know (and I think she knows) if she tells me she doesn't love me, it will devastate me. I will feel rejected. I will most likely have a breakdown, and it will set our relationship back.

It's weird though. As of right now, I'm okay if my T doesn't love me. What matters is that she cares. But I think hearing the words "I don't love you" will kill me (not literally)."

Just seems a bit like you are choosing to push a boundary knowing full well that you have a therapist with very professional boundaries who will most likely not answer your question, no matter what her feelings are about you. I wonder what you are trying to get out of this: I really don't think what you are trying to get is an answer. Are you trying to create a conflict here? Are you trying to create a crisis as some sort of "test"? It's "worth whatever pain it might bring": Are you trying to create pain?

I really think you need to figure out what you are really after here. For some reason this strikes me as self-destructive or therapy-destructive because I think you realize you are going to have a triggered response to whatever she ends up saying -- positive, negative, or neutral -- you'll end up in an internal crisis over this.