I know people who have known me for a long time will know I'm up and down a lot....

I feel really down and restless,,,,I know I should be trying to get out....hubby says he is taking me and the dog out for a long walk tomorrow lol.....

I just feel I should be making more of an effort, but I just dont feel like it at all. I seem to be just existing....I HATE going out doors in the daylight, no I'm not a vampire, lol, just self conscious and paranoid.....

I dont like being me.....I would like to be someone else..confident, intelligent, useful....i wish i had more courage, strength......please dont think this is attention seeking, I always think people think that of me....i have always been told that.....i am speaking from my heart....i feel so pathetic, so many people have worse problems than me

I have to go.....i really just want to sleep and forget.....

sorry i'm so boring.....

kerry