Dear Cami,

I am listening and understand what you are going through. I really do. There is not one day that goes by where I don't want to cause myself pain, just so I can relieve the pain. When I take a step back and realize what I am saying, I think to myself, "How in the hell does this make any sense?" The truth is, it doesn't. But, for anyone who goes through such pain that can tears at the soul, it makes perfect sense. Personally, I have battled 22+ years of the very same feelings you have described. One of the most difficult things for me to do is explain what it is that I am dealing with. So, I tend to keep the pain within, thus having the outward appearance of strength and content. No doubt though, the pain and the voices are there, deeply hidden within. I think that by expressing what you are going through, really can help release the pain in a less harmful way. Case in point, by you being strong enough to write down what you are going through, actually helps you and others like myself who would otherwise simply continue to let the pain of bad memories, depression, anxiety, etc., just tear us apart. You may not realize this, but reading your post, did help me and I am sure that the same can be said for others as well. In other words, because of your strength, I was able to let some pain go. Thank you. Now, I would like to offer is my ear and shoulder should you ever need it. I have read the responses of those above me here, and recognize that there are good, smart, and caring people here who continually battle the pain such as we do. If I ever had to go into battle, I want everyone here on my side. :-) Well, I hope that you feel better and know that if you need someone to talk to or just listen, I will be here for you. Keeping the pain inside and going it alone, is all it's cracked up to be. Please take care of yourself and be careful this weekend.

Sincerely,

David (NewDawnFades)