Mandyfins, you said, "I'm trying to protect that dream and trying to protect my husband from his own children not caring for him, and trying to protect my children from disappointment. "

I'm worried about YOU too! It sounds like you are trying to cover for your husband in his behavior, but, remember, he is making this choice, not you! You need not make excuses for him or "enable" him in this lifestyle.

Sorry if this sounded harsh. Your sons need a strong parental figure to speak the truth to them!
Love
Patty