The goal idea is good. Im not good at goals but worth a try. Maybe if I want to stay off antipsychotics I will just have to work harder to keep myself grounded. That would probably help.

I feel more calm now, maybe I could get used to this person but its like I dont fit in the life I made for myself. That hurts but maybe its true.

I think I will tell my husband I'm not taking it. The less I lie the better. Maybe I'm just turning it into a big deal when its not.

Im in Canada so I get what I'm given for pdocs and therapy. I definitely dont complain about it but they are both very busy. I see T in two weeks and pdoc in almost 2 months. We have a crisis line I can call anytime to talk to someone but I dont even know what I would say if I chose to use it.