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Old Oct 08, 2017, 02:32 PM
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Trace14 Trace14 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2014
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,011
Quote:
Originally Posted by kismetie View Post
I don't much about either of my parent's background or childhood. My dad is not very close with his family and so I'm not close to them either and outside of the loop. He had 3 siblings and older sister and a younger brother and sister. All I know is that my dad has anger problems (they are a lot milder now bc he's 70 now), he was abusive to his partners (mostly verbally and emotionally but sometimes physically too), and he cheats a lot. He' super disillusioned and can't take responsibility for ***** without angrily pointing the blame on someone else *shrugs*

My mom is very tight lipped about stuff in general and the youngest of 4 siblings. If I do hear anything that did happen it's from my aunts and it's spoken in passing like it's "no big deal" which is freaking bizarre. My mom is super insecure about how she looks bc she was teased for having dark skin when she was little and she internalized it and still holds it with her even though she's 58. She has anxiety and deals with depression and can be super manipulative and spiteful at times.

Me and her have a unhealthy codependent relationship and she is the source of most of my neurosis (CEN, C-PTSD, depression, anxiety, dissociation).

And on top of all the that, I had to learn from the estranged relationship I have with my father that I was adopted a little after birth and my mom hadn't planned on telling me so there's a whole other biological aspect there . . .
Wow, that's a lot to deal with. Hope you have a good therapist helping you work through this. CPTSD is like a big puzzle, and you keep finding pieces of it that you didn't even know existed and now try to find where they fit into the picture. You seem to be a very smart and open minded person who can see things without attaching too much to it. But you process it. Best wishes with this journey and we are always here if you want to chat. Thanks for sharing.
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