When I once told T that other people's Ts said they loved them, she said "I care for you very deeply but I reserve the word love for my close friends and family."

A few years later she suddenly signed an email "love T" and I asked her if that was a mistake. She said no, and we talked about therapy love. But I said love is love, and I know it's not romantic love. But she hadn't said the words to me.

Still later in therapy, she actually said, when we were talking about love, " I love you, rainbow". After so many years, how could I not? She said something I don't quite recall about most Ts coming to love their clients.

After wanting for so long to be loved by a T, I'm not sure about hearing the words. I think she still means " care very deeply for", which feels more genuine to me. But I like that she signs emails "Love, T" and I usually sign mine "love, rainbow". We DO have a special relationship, and love is part of it.