Hi PicturePerfect, I too struggle with an eating disorder. Getting help was one of the best things I have ever done and it is in no way a waste of resources--you are worth every bit of it. Counselors helped me deal with my distorted body image, low self esteem and my need for perfection. Self help groups have also been a valuable resource.

I also work in medical education, so I understand the stress you are under to be "perfect." Premed and medical school is grueling...but, it is often not the content of the learning that makes it difficult for success--it is the unrealistic expectation that you will be or even can be perfect. Remember you are human--perfection is impossible.

If you really want to make it in medical school, you will need to get this under control. Now is a good time to start working on it. I am very passionate about medical education and would be happy to talk with you if you ever need somebody to listen. Feel free to PM me anytime.