Quote:
Originally Posted by kecanoe
I think this is a hard thing to ask, and a hard thing to know how to answer. If you are like me, you may not be sure what love is: I love ice cream. I love my daughter. I love my husband. I love my dad, I love my dog. But the feelings I have for those 5 are quite different.
Does love mean being willing to sacrifice for someone? Does it mean that you put their good above yours? That you are willing to go the extra mile for them? That you think about them alot? That you want to spend time with them?
If it were me, I probably would not ask; there are people who would say that they love me that do not (IMO) act loving toward me. So for me, regardless of the answer, it would probably be confusing.
If it were important for me to be honest about my feelings on this with T, I might say that I found myself wanting to know if T loved me. I doubt your T will be surprised to hear you say that.
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There are multiple types of love. I think I love everyone differently than the other. I love my mom differently than my dad, than my stepdad, than my younger sister, than my older sister, etc. And I love my family differently than I do my fiance, and him differently than my dogs. And I love my T different than all. For me, loving someone is based on our own unique relationship. But I'm not sure I can describe love. It's more than caring. I care about my hair stylist, but I don't love her. I wouldn't go out of my way to do things for her. I don't have a desire to be close to her. I don't worry about her either.
My T probably won't be too surprised. I've told her I love her. She knows ex-T basically said she loved me.
This actually came about because she brought up the topic of unconditional love with my family. I'm not really sure what unconditional love is. Like where do you draw a line? Can you unconditionally love a person from a distance? (I'm not expecting anyone to answer these questions). Somehow, wanting to know if T loves me got in my head.