trusting wholly is hard.

do I trust? yes, but it's very limited. like elevatedsoul said, i barely trust myself--mostly my perceptions of things and my reactions. i had to ask T last week if i was overreacting to something. she validated me, but i still felt like my perception of the event was/is warped.

even when my therapist says things i find myself questioning the genuineness of those statements.

has my trust been violated? probably, since i have a hard time trusting, but i honestly can't remember much about my childhood to even know it's origins.
as an adult (at least since college and now in my 30s) i've kept myself chronically isolated/alone and don't give anyone a chance to violate my trust.

sometimes when i see abused dogs cowering in a corner of the videos i watch, i can completely relate. and then am in aw of how quickly they learn to trust again. i wonder why it can't happen that fast for people.

you just gave me something to think about fuzzybear.