Hi lil_bit, I often wonder the same things about life. The one that catches me the most is whether or not we truly have a purpose in life. Nietzsche and many other great existential philosophers suggest life is what we make of it. We are "doomed" to be free. Free to create our own meaning in life--that we are not magically given one, it is our responsibility to build a worthwhile life. I truly do take this to heart and try to remember that every one of my actions is an example for others--I truly am responsible for mankind--it is up to me to set a worthwhile example and try to influence the world--one person at a time--starting with myself.

You mentioned suicide...are you just thinking about the theoretical implications or are you in danger? If you are in danger, please tell somebody and get help. Sorry, I know I am probably reading too much into your words, but I would rather ask you than just guess that you are okay. I think it is perfectly fine and normal to think about suicide...I do often. What really does happen? It is a question I know I will never be able to answer, but I keep thinking about it....