I'm very interested in what other people are going to say. For my ex-t, I found myself really wanting to know the same thing. There was nothing that I wanted more than to know that she loved me, that I was special, etc.

I actually didn't have to ask that t. I had a friend that I met here on PC ask me if my T loved me. During a session, I mentioned to my t that I was really stressed out about something that someone had asked me. My t was a mind reader and said, "did she ask you if I loved you?" I was dumbstruck. I said that was the question and my t said, "I care DEEPLY about you. You are a very special, unique person and I believe that you are going to do great things in your life. I am privileged to be part of your journey".

I guess my point is, I think that therapists get asked that question by their patients more often than we might think. It's only reasonable that due to the intimate relationship that therapy creates between therapist and client, the question of love arises. I think that some therapists will be more comfortable admitting their feelings than others. But I think in general, therapists will try to be honest (and perhaps use terms more like my therapist - where she didn't explicitly say that she loved me but still let her feelings towards me be known). And I think that there is definitely a way to discuss feelings of love in therapy in a way that still is appropriate and adheres to proper therapeutic boundaries.

For your specific situation, I think that you have a lot of good insight about what you can and can't emotionally handle. I think however, that your therapist will be more than happy to discuss the feelings of love within the therapeutic relationship and if anything, will want to explore those with you. I think email was a good way to approach this topic so that in case your therapist needs time to think about how she is going to discuss this with you, she has that time.

I hope you get the answers that you want!