I have a 9 year old daughter (will be 10 yr. old in December). She has long had a variety of sensory issues along with other issues, such as potty training late (4 yr.), breastfeeding late (also 4 yr.), dislike of playing with children her own age (gravitates towards babies or teenagers or adults if she goes to anyone at all). I took her everywhere before she started school - mom's groups, library preschool story times, parks, gym daycare; she just wouldn't play with any other kids except her cousins, and in that case, she gravitated towards my oldest nephew (5 yr. older than she is). She practically ignored my one nephew only a few months older than she.

In kindergarten, her teacher was calling me nearly every day with some issue or other, such as at recess she would just stand there and cry or she wouldn't eat lunch (didn't like the lunch monitor seeing her eat). Eventually, she made a friend (a very outgoing girl who never met a stranger, which surprised me as my daughter is very introverted).

She has tons of sensory issues. In preschool, she got OCD about washing her hands for several months before she finally broke that habit (she would spend hours in the bathroom washing and re-washing her hands). She will not wear pants because of the feel. Sometimes, she would flap her hands when she got frustrated with me, such as when I told her it was time to do her spelling homework (her least favorite subject in school other than P.E.)

I look like a horrible parent sending her to school in dresses in the winter because of her not wearing pants and wonder how she will handle having to wear a gym uniform in 6th grade, but thankfully, we live in the Houston, TX area, and winters here are pretty mild (but still cold enough for pants).

Her socks must be worn inside-out. She hates loud noises so much that her school started sending her to the nurse's restroom, so she does not have to hear toilets flush or hand blow dryers. Using a public restroom, she will not use hand blow dryers and insists on hand sanitizer instead; I have to go into the stall with her and block any auto-flush mechanism the toilet may have, which with her being almost 10, is a pain. She will not eat any combined foods. My family thinks I'm crazy, but I just give up, and pull things out unseasoned as I'm cooking them (they say she will eat if hungry enough, but I don't believe it). Often, she displays a lack of understanding of others' emotions and believes her feelings trump all. On top of it, she is extremely bright. She reads English at a 12th grade level, scored 100% on last year's state exam in math (STAAR), has gotten medals in math competitions, and reads Spanish at a 4th grade level.

We are completely Anglo and speak absolutely no Spanish at home; she is in a dual language program in her elementary school. Of course, the school also diagnosed her as GT in kindergarten because of how quickly she learns things and how bright she is. She hates all changes and still has meltdowns at school. Sometimes the cause will be obvious and sometimes not. Going to the library is a nightmare for her. She often can't find books on her level in English (they are given a level by the Language Arts teacher and they are not to check out books below that level), especially in nonfiction as all she wants to read about is animals, and she has read all the animal books on her level in the school library. If the school has a change of routine, such as they watch a program put on by one of the grades or a police officer or fireman comes to talk to them, I will often get a call or email from her teacher or teachers (she has 2 main teachers) that she has been "off" all day, or even has had a major meltdown. They send her to the counselor or often the principal (she likes the principal who is wonderful and the school has had some turnover of counselors over the years, so she is less familiar with them).

Isn't she too old for meltdowns at nearly 10? This year, she is also starting puberty according to her pediatrician, so we get to throw hormones in the mix. Often, I pick her up from school and if something went wrong in her day (say her teacher made her show strategies working math problems which may have added 1 minute to her math assignment but that she feels is a giant waste of her time), she will yell at me. This yelling lasts anywhere from 15 minutes to over an hour. I give up trying to comfort her, and I finally requested a meeting with the school counselor to help her deal with stress in a healthy way. I have bipolar depression myself, so this yelling is very hard on me.

Sometimes, I wonder is she near having Asperger's syndrome (I am 99% sure my dad does have Asperger's but they didn't diagnose it back when he was a kid). Or is she just a normal pre-teen with lots of sensory issues? Where do you draw the line? I would take her in for diagnosis if not for money issues and my husband's resistance. He still thinks she will outgrow this, but I don't think so.