Yep, KiD became one of my favorite games, just because it's that weird.
I get really horrible toward myself when I lie. I hate myself just a little bit more each time. With even the smallest "fine" I become more "not fine" every time. I do sometimes use "things could always get worse" in an attempt to be truthful and try to not be so off-putting.
I've always felt myself a burden since I was a small child to everyone and still feel that way a lot of the time, even to those I trust.
I think all beings should lift all others up and help the hurting by hurting together, even though it's not the same hurt and they don't have my particular hurt. It's unfortunate or maybe it isn't, but pain is part of life. We all have our burdens, but that lets us experience pleasure too. I really do need a cat but am not allowed them here. I need to get that housing application turned in ASAP.
No one in my family asks how I'm doing since my hospitalization last year, because I always tell them honestly, thinking they'll want to care or listen. Those that do ask roll their eyes the whole 20 seconds and say "hmm" or "oh?" or even "ok" after I blatantly ask their opinions, indicating they aren't listening and probably just don't care because it's not their lives. If they were drinkers, they'd be fairly typical alcoholics. They're not, but are mostly emotionally unavailable. Let them break something, and they're very quick to ask for my help. I've always tried help when anything was broken because it was my small way to say "I love you and you're important." I could fix any physical item that didn't require intense technical knowledge. Computers, electronics, houses, yards, cars were all way enough. I don't fix everything any more because I don't have all the abilities I once did. I still ask them how they are, but they only reply "ok" or "hi." I have one sister that listens, and will engage in serious conversations, but doesn't seem to want to usually, even when I was trying to ask her for help with calming my thoughts during mania recently. She just sat there, staring at her tablet, and making "hmm" noises. Yesterday her answers were all "just let it go" when I was telling her about something that is currently an ongoing problem that I have to fix and will be there regardless of my letting go