I will pour myself into the books that I read. I read a lot. There is a certain series of books that I have read lately that is affecting my bipolar depression. I am so upset about what the character is doing and what is going to happen that I could not sleep last night and I was very anxious. I wanted to just go - anywhere. I felt edgy in my skin. If that makes sense. These characters are not real but they affect me so much. I cannot stop reading them. They help me most of the time to stay out of the depression side of my bipolar. And I have an imaginary life in my head that I will dream about while driving, working etc. In this life I am loved and I love him, a very deep love. Something I have never had.