I know exactly what you mean. I think about the same things. I also think about how functional I used to be compared to how I am now. I've lost a lot because of abuse and the illness that has resulted from it. But I think you have to mourn before you can move on. Or maybe, just like a death, we will always mourn but will be able to get to a point where we aren't consumed by it. I know mourning is a process. I hope we can all make it through the stages in a healthy way.