I’m pretty sure both my mom and dad are narcicissists. I cut off all contact with my dad about 3 years ago. It all of a sudden was completely clear to me how he completely devalued me. My feelings never mattered. My love for him had gone when I was just a child, so in cutting off contact, I barely felt anything, but sadness for understanding even more, what a terrible impact he had on my life.

My mother, on the other hand, I do love. While so much about her has caused me a lot of confusion, and it’s very easy for a conversation to become convoluted, she taught me my manners, morals, kindness, an appreciation and love for animals - and these things are extremely important to me. I’ve finally come to understand that her need for others to love and admire her, makes her unable to tolerate anything that could possibly be construed as a criticism, because that would mean to her that she is unloveable. I’ve been depressed about it - it doesn’t seem fair that I have to make my mom think she’s perfect, no matter what hurtful thing she’s just said...I have to bottle up my feelings. I don’t live close to her, so phone calls on the weekends are easy - visits can get crazy. I do love her, though.