Scarlet,

Wow! First, congratulations on the wedding! How exciting! I'm really happy for you and your soon to be hubbie!

Re: Your question to your T, good job! I think that you're right on about the fact that it's important to you, and thus, it's important to discuss. It seems like this T has really been helpful and supportive to you, so no matter what the answer, I'm trusting that she's going to handle it sensitively and with grace.

Good luck, and enjoy the wedding!