I am sorry you are going thru all that...Sometimes it is so hard and frustrating and you do not see the light at any tunnel you seem to have found yourself in. In my experience, I have been down a lot of dark tunnels with no light. One time I gave up and it was best way to go. I Let go and LET GOD. I don't mean to preach or put my religion on you and if you dun like this, you can delete. But that is my 2 cents worth. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!!! Melanie