for me... when they say this... it makes me feel like this...

i haven't survived it yet... i am still experiencing it...
i am still reliving it everyday...
its still living inside of me...

how have i survived...? survived is past tense...
i have to make it past it...
its still in my mind and just as real in my mind as it was then...

my mind is warped... and they cant understand how it feels...
how it feels to feel these things... to live like this... to experience this...
everyday... all day...

i just try to breathe... and tell myself that i am present in this moment...
i end up isolating myself

i feel so complicated... i just want to be alone... want to be away from everyone...
i feel like i hate people
but i love people so much... i want to be around people and have fun...
i want people to care for me... but i dont want to get attached to people because everytime i do they hurt me.... but i want to get attached to someone because i want to feel the connection and be loved...

its such a dilemma that i have to live with... and for them to say that i survived is just wrong because i am trying to survive, everyday i am fighting to survive...

they just dont understand...

im sorry you are struggling and hurt

these things really suck... i dont know if anyone relate to me...
but i really care for the people that understand... i wish we could all come together and form a community and live in peace together...