Yeah, you sound really angry at your sister. It kind of resonates with me because I had similar issues with my sister...not around finances...but it seemed like she was always jealous of me for whatever I had...be it a relationship, or a job, or lifestyle. Whatever. She was status conscious.

When I fell on hard times my sister dropped me off her radar for a decade. Then she got a terminal illness...and suddenly she was back in my life! She just picked up as if those ten years of neglect never happened, and because she was dying, well, she was protected from criticism. It was horrible because so much was unsaid and to me it kind of poisoned the atmosphere. Then she died. Poof. All that subliminal drama...and then...poof. Gone.

The bottom line was I loved her but was also very angry. The most she ever gave me was she said she wasn't very efficient at being honest with her feelings. Which was as good as saying she wasn't going to discuss the past. She knew I was angry. But she simply ignored it.

I do think that status is largely determined by wealth and the wealthy do think that those who are poor or broke "made their bed." Having fallen on hard times I have become socially invisible in my wealthy community.

It sounds like your sister does not want to have a close relationship with you. The reasons may be a multiple mystery. A lot of what my sister did came from basic insecurity that she hid well from most people but I saw it. It made her uncomfortable that I saw her insecurities and, I think, caused her to keep a distance. She had a habit of sending me "recycled" gifts and even told me who gave them to her! She thought all things should be continually recycled. I ended up recycling a lot of her recycled gifts...but not all...because she was an artist so I kept some really cool artistic things.

If you like your sister's gifts keep them and enjoy them. I consider all gifts "booty" and I don't care what the source but then I am pretty unsentimental. If I don't like a gift I immediately recycle it. I'll donate it to a charity shop...whatever. Things are just things. But don't just chuck it in the trash. As someone else may enjoy it.

It is more important to know when one is hurt because maybe one loves others more than one is loved by them. Is that you? Doesn't this get highlighted during the holiday season? If so, hugs!

If you have a life that suits you than I say congratulations. It's way more than I have at present. I have been rich and I have been poor and for me rich is better. It represents security and independence. If you have that then you are basically rich. I am not talking about status...just resources. If all your needs are met, and you are comfortable, then, who has the audacity to criticize that?

In the end it is all dust in the wind. Just love who you want, and forgive them their weaknesses, as we all have them.

Personally I think people know what they are doing when they slight others and hurt others...and for whatever reason...they don't care. That's a big piece of evil I don't want to be a part of, and, I am sure, neither do you.

You may actually love your sister more than she loves you. That's okay even if sad.