Quote:
Originally Posted by splitimage
UpDownAround,
I can totally relate to your future fantasy. I have a similar one. It's me sitting in front of a roaring fire, in a cabin in the woods in the fall, with a cat asleep on my lap and a glass of whiskey.
I'm no expert on recovery, so take this with a bag of salt, but whenever that thought pops into my head, I just go, "That's 20 years from now. Just concentrate on not drinking today." And since that literally takes most of my energy I'm ok. Who knows what you'll feel like in 5 years, you may not want to drink, you may feel it's ok to. The main thing is focussing on staying sober today, That's one thing I absolutely agree on with AA.
splitimage
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I dislike the idea of personifying addiction; it's like ascribing my behaviors to a boogeyman instead of facing them myself, but in this case it is easier to explain that way. It's like the addiction is being sneaky; it takes me near zero energy to stay sober each day. So the thoughts start to creep in that maybe I could handle it if I establish some ground rules and stick to them. Right now those thoughts are easy to squash because it has not been that long since I had real problems with drinking and using. But in a year, two or five it will likely be much harder. I have not smoked weed in over 25 years but still have the desire to, so I don't think the fantasy is going away in five years.
__________________
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|Up and down
|And in the end it's only round and round
|Pink Floyd - Us and Them
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|bipolar II, substance use disorder, ADD
|lamictal, straterra
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