Quote:
Originally Posted by sinking
i feel empty, no, just some void....
and unreal.... or better, non-existent....
its as if... i need someone to make me real, existent. maybe a stranger? someone in person, real, someone interested in me....as if i was someone interesting. or with a real life. someone to make me feel alive.
i need to drink. its been a long time since the last time. now i've resisted the urge for about 10 days but i need to give in. its better than SHing.... i dont feel like SHing, not sure why.... i still get the visions of it though.
the only reason i've resisted drinking so far is calories. i dont want to get fat again. but i still use food as comfort. i even write lists of what i want to eat next.... contrasting feelings.... i want to disappear.
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First of all well done for resisting drinking for 10 days . I know that's not easy when you are feeling so low. And I'm glad you didn't self harm.
I in the past have turned to drink or drugs for release but I'm too resisting that temptation. I get visions or day dreams about drugs sometimes but I've started doing an online support meeting for na . I'm not ready to go out to a real meeting yet .
I know that empty feeling that you talk about. I know that feeling of not existing .
You can send me a private message only if you want to. Any one can. I love making new friends on here .
Hugs:
Sophie