It was not until yesterday when I was talking with my new P-doc that something rang true for my diagnosis of Bipolar-1. I have some strong traits of Borderline Personality Disorder and was giving all the credit to that diagnosis and denying Bipolar.
I told her I did not have the euphoria that I have heard about with Bipolar. She said it does not always show up that way that it can manifest with irritability and anger as well. That is something I can relate to.
When there were some traumatic events in my family or origin I thought that I was perhaps disassociating. Each episode resulted in me ending up in the hospital. They were always a result of feeling abandoned, emotionally abused, or rejected. Each time I was pretty out of touch with reality thinking someone was coming to save me, and sometimes resulted in one night stands, and rage driving,and totally into certain songs.
So now I am starting to feel differently about this diagnosis, and I can see also it is possible for me to have both.
Any insight is more than welcome. Thanks for reading.