Yeah I also think its a good thing that I recognize that something is wrong with me. The thing is it took me a year or two to finally even consider that something was wrong with me. It took a lot of bad events and experiences for me to realize that my symptoms were probably mental and not physical. For example I was going to school and everyday I couldnt concentrate and carry on a conversation without completely zoning out. Everyday I would go in feeling like krap and feeling empty and feeling like I was in a bad dream and I couldnt believe that my life had come to this. A couple times I was certain I was in a bad dream and I was literally waiting to wake up and to feel alive again.

I tried everything to wake up from this daze anything from drugs to energy drinks to trying to get more sleep and trying to concentrate and none of it worked at all. Its like none of that affected me at all and I felt exactly the same. I thought it might have been because of i was alone a lot so I tried being with my friends and going over peoples houses and talking a lot and still none of this worked at all.

I dont know how to explain it but it was like falling deeper and deeper down a hole until I could hardly even communicate with the outside world. I was always in my own mind and even that started to die until I could hardly feel anything. It was horrible and I went to doctors thinking it was something physical only for them to say I was completely healthy physically. Its like I was slowly dying and there was nothing I could do about it at all. and it still is like that but it seems like my condition has leveled off far away from my old reality.