Teenagers need love. They need guidance and support and they need to come up against strong, strong, flexible walls. Most of all they must be noticed, no matter how hard they try to hide. When there is chaos in family life young teens may well disappear--figuratively and literally.

My 13 year old self came to T this week. But that self is invisible because she was not noticed. She was yelled at but not really noticed. So, when circumstances conspire to recreate the chaos in my mind, I naturally fall into the space that is always waiting for me. I yearn for T to notice me. I want him to take care of me without me telling him what I need. I want him to take me out to a movie and to the diner for a burger and a milkshake. And I want the movie to be one that I choose like Romeo and Juliette. And I want him to buy me a new, warm, winter coat that fits properly with gloves, hat and scarf that match. And boots that have fuzzy stuff inside to keep your feet warm. Is that too much to ask for?

Sigh. Then I would feel loved.

I don't want to be invisible. Yet I don't know how to re-appear on command. The feelings must be worked through.