I have social phobia and I have done exactly the same thing . you could start by making friends on here and opening up to family members, letting them back in. You can pm me if you want . we could become friends . the walls won't all come down at once . we put up barriers for a reason , for protection and to feel safe . we can slowly let our guard down with individuals one at a time . who told you that you don't look approachable ? I could say that smiling could help but we don't always feel like smiling .