Quote:
Originally Posted by Typo
No one cares, no one understands
Everyone laughs st me I am a big fat joke. I am a train wreck
My own husband just thinks I am an overly emotional he doesn't get it he never will
Almost attempted a few eeeks ago, he didn't really understand the seriousnless of it then, he said I am always st an 11 so it's hard to tell when to take me serious. 6 years of being together, 6 years of me and my mental health, in the 6 years we have been together I haven't had a resurgence of suicidal thoughts or planning but now that it is happening he doesn't know if it is serious
And no one will care, No one will read this, no one would miss me if I went away, even if I just ran away
The only thing that keeps em from it is who would take care of my animals. They never did nothing wrong they don't deserve to be abandoned
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I hear you--struggling like this is no joke. Almost attempting means you need help. You are describing some really dark depression--this depression is really coloring your thinking. I am glad you are at least hanging on for your animals but your husband and perhaps mom, dad, siblings may miss you more than you realize. Your husband cared enough to marry you--yes, sometimes they don't get how much pain we are in and they just get tired of listening to our emotional stuff but that doesn't mean he doesn't still care.
Are you able to see a therapist? It would help if you could talk to someone new. And people (including me) will be glad to listen here--either on this post or via private messages. Sometimes when we are hurting about something--we need to talk about it over and over and just one person to talk to is not enough.
You are in a lot of pain about your grandmother and need to keep talking about it.
I would love to hear about it. My maternal grandmother meant a lot to me. I would really like to hear more about your grandmother. Being with someone at the end of their life is a really tough experience and it takes a long time to come back from it. You said you were 15--how old are you now? Please keep posting. There are many understanding people here. You are not alone. I made a serious attempt in 2015 so I really understand how serious your thoughts and emotions are--they can carry us away. Please, please keep talking about it--don't keep it bottled up!!!!
