I've been having increasing levels of ideation of harming others. It is not out of my control (not worse than any time before), but my mind goes there frequently. Just pictures of doing things because people are reading me.

But I don't know who to talk to about this now. I have a sneaking suspicion that I'd be facing a trip to the hospital if I talked to any of my doctors. I absolutely literally can not afford the co-pay there, or I'd happily spend a while recovering in hospital. I just need to... to talk.