Aw, (((((Kimmy))))), I'm so sorry to hear that about your mother. I can totally relate!

My grandmother did not raise my mother or my Aunt, her youngest son however the sun would rise and set on his behind. My mom and Aunt's dad died when my mom was 12, and her brother's father was .... well a self-centered, egotistical, arrogant ***. He was not kind to my mom and Aunt and they went to live with their grandmother.

When grandma first became sick, my mother and I stayed with her at the hospital for a month, then my mother had to return to work, and I stayed there (as a favor to my mother, I was not close to this woman she was very cold)for then next month.

All their life, it was son this and son that. He couldn't come see her in the hosptial because he was too "busy". But she complained endlessly to my mother. The hospital was three hours from where they lived, but if she wasn't there exactly three hours after she got off work on Friday night my grandmother would yell "WHERE WERE YOU!"

My mother was getting exhausted and we had just lost my father a few months before, so she wasn't in the best mental condition to deal with her. I would tell her "mom, just stay home, I've got this covered, I'm not going to have you in the hospital too." But no, my mom ran herself ragged to take care of a woman that did virtually nothing for her.

I'm assuming that your mother was actually a mother to you. And even in that case, you have to take care of yourself! You have so many things going on right now (praying for good news about your daughter) that your mom is just going "get what she gets and like it".

There's no shame in prioritizing. You have to take care of yourself first, so that you can then in turn take care of your daughter and her baby. Then comes hubby. Mom's just going to have to be happy with 5th right now.