I am sorry your experience with bipolar is so difficult to treat.
My pdoc is also my therapist and he's often blunt about the serious degree of illness(es). Although he's blunt, he's kind. I think he is trying to get me to understand from his point-of-view. I know I am very ill, as I live it daily; yet, sometimes, I get into denial, just to be able to tolerate the degree of illness and to hold even a little hope.
You are much younger than me. I feel bipolar research may well come up with some helpful information within your lifetime. Wouldn't that be great!?

WC