Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket
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So hurt feelings stem from something that threatens your sense of self? Say you get stood up by a date, you feel unattractive, unimportant, worthless. That’s the ego feeling bruised. I don’t think that means having an ego is negative thing; ideally it would adjust to the slight by recognizing the independent jerkiness of others doesn’t threaten our own senses of self.
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Thanks, ATAT.
Yeah, a "slight" bruises the sense of self and so -- it either adjusts to being worthless in the other's eyes or, as you, said adjusts and doesn't put so much stock in what the other person does or what they may think of us.
But why does it hurt? What causes the pain? Maybe, if people don't think well of us then, as if when we have a sprained ankle, we can't count on our ability to make it in the world the way we had assumed previously (with everything working right and the other person's good will) and so it causes us to pay attention. Until it is "well", until one adjusts.
Only sometimes the sense of self gets really, really damaged, at an early age, when it is still developing. And the pain is constant, unless numbed out. The "numbing out" is the adjustment -- but one that is very limited.