I don't know if this will comfort you at all, but many, many people have issues around sex. Whether it's self-loathing, body image, abuse issues, religious issues, there's all kinds of reasons. So you're definitely not alone.

The main thing to remember is that porn is fantasy. It can be super helpful for processing things about sex and bodies (what you're interested in, what you like, what you don't like) but at the end of the day it's made for entertainment. It's not at all modelled on reality, not from the bodies in it, and not from the way people treat each other. So if you're comparing anything to it, you could definitely come up short, as Blue suggests.

I think another thing that might be helpful is to remind yourself (constantly, if necessary) that it's your body, your choice. What I mean is that there can be pressure from society, from family/friends, and from others to have sex or sexuality that looks a certain way, and that way is maybe the case for a fraction of people. Everybody's different. So if you're feeling down on yourself because you're put off by sex and not having any (or barely any) it will probably just feed into the cycle of self-loathing, anxiety, and a feeling that you need to do something different, even if you're not ready, or don't even want it for yourself right now. Sex *is* natural but so is having boundaries around it, with yourself and with others. And if you're just not ready right now, you're just not ready right now, and it doesn't make you any less of a sexual being.

Whatever the case is, I wish you well in sorting it all out. You can message me if you ever want or need to talk about it, or anything else.