Okay, this will be a bit off the original topic, but perhaps not so much. This post got me to thinking about the whole pain issue.

You said, "both serve the same purpose - to protect the individual from anything that threatens its survival." Yes, in healthy individuals, that is true. However, the sympathetic nervous system can go haywire and run havoc on a person's physical health. My husband has a neurological disorder that has essentially caused his sympathetic nervous system to be stuck in the "on" position, causing him to feel constant pain, even when there is no stimulus for the pain. Thus, pain is no longer serving to protect him; pain has overtaken his system and subsequently he has a whole string of other health issues that have developed as the result of feeling too much pain too often. Pain is literally creating problems for him rather than serving a natural healthy protection (such as when one might have a healthy response to a hot burner on a stove and quickly withdraw your hand).

I bring this up because I wonder if emotionally/mentally some of us have a similar "stuck" response to perceived "hurt" or pain that has overwhelmed us. Just a thought that sort of makes sense to me. I know, for instance, my PTSD symptoms are "stuck" response (and PTSD has been shown to actually be a nervous system disorder) to perceived stimuli. (I realize I am oversimplifying complex research here.) On a smaller scale, I know my responses to often very trivial matters can be out of proportion to what is actually going on due to my history, my internal perceptions of who I am, etc. So, perhaps, if my response to emotional pain is not serving as a healthy protection for me, but rather it creates more problems for me, then that is an indicator that my emotional health may not be working as it was designed to.

So, "hurt" feelings are very normal and natural. They can be that warning that a relationship is not healthy for us, etc. The trick is when we are "hurt" over things that may be out of proportion, or perhaps when we fear that "hurt" feeling and avoid relationship in order to avoid possible "hurt" in the first place. ???