I was super motivated woke up a little early this morning prepared my bag and said I’m going to do Kung fu. Then later started to get lonely and sad. I really wanted to kick this depression and enjoy the holidays. My iop therapist talked to me over the phone and I told her my issues. Basically I’m anxious, scared feel like a failure, too fat, self image/confidence to go to my favorite kickboxing class that I’ve missed for a year and to go out socially. I know why it is. It’s cause I’m fat lost my edge and have no confidence. I was driving home and said I’ll pick up my dermatologist medicine put something on the crockpot and go workout at least. Well got home and I’m not good enough. I chalked this day as a lost and want to sleep so I don’t have these thoughts.