I didn't mean to scare you.

I know after a bad experience with APs it can be hard to try them again. Maybe your pdoc can find something else to stabilize you. But if you do need them again, all of them are different. You may never have another problem with them. I had a try several before I found one that worked for me but my body is really weird with meds. Many people do great on abilify. Many do great on their first AP. Other times it takes some experimentation. Something will work for you. You just have to hold onto that hope and know it is true.