I was a chatterbox today which is unlike me. Most times sessions DRAG by and I'm antsy to get out of there and I'm always asking what time it is or looking at my watch.

Before going into the office, I grabbed a coloring book and a few colored pencils off the coffee table in her waiting room.

We talked about my recent job interview, my recent doctor appointment and how it's taken almost a month to get my lab work and CT scan results from my doctor. I talked about the latest happenings with my family. I threw in bits of my childhood here and there---which I never do bc I hate talking about it. In those moments, T kept asking me how I felt and I kept telling her "fine". She'd ask about my anxiety and I'd say "fine". I honestly didn't feel much of anything the entire time. I kept thinking "am I supposed to feel something?" She is worried about my recent (very quick) weight loss bc I'm not eating much. I tried to tell her it's fine, I'm taking care of it, but she kept emphasizing that she is worried and doesn't want me to disappear on her. I have a feeling we'll be talking about this for a while and I'm not looking forward to it.

It was a really odd session bc I just kept talking. I felt like I was speed talking and jumping all over the place and not making any sense. Normally I barely say anything and sessions are PAINFULLY hard to get thru. Other times (rare), I talk at a normal pace and there is a nice back and forth happening and a decent pace. I'm not sure what was wrong with me today. I kind of want to get her perspective on it. She did mention at the end that I chatted way more than normal.

At the end we scheduled the next session and before I left I told her I was headed to a community acupuncture clinic, but it was wasn't for another hour or so and she recommended I go to the mall nearby to grab some something to eat. I declined bc I am (think I am) dealing with GERD and i'm terrified to eat anything that I don't cook bc I don't know exactly what is going in their (restaurant food). As I walked out she said she can't wait to hear about my first acupuncture experience.