when I starved myself and ended up in hospital over christmas, and not just christmas, but some of the next year too.

I think it was the longest hospital stay ever.

I went in like december 23rd, and came out in march.

during that time, I lost contact with all my friends (through my choosing), I actually said to them- this is the one, this is my suicide, good bye (to everyone)
I did some major SI on my legs and feet (to the point where I couldn't even walk on it)

and I just couldn't be controled when it came to suicide

the nurses tried everything to stabilise me, but they'd leave, and i'd just try again

then of course my family made it worse by telling the nurses to just let me die, which just made everything worse, I remember ringing my sister and telling her- get rid of my computer, tv, telephone, make my room just empty, because I'm not coming out.

this is also the year I lost my school position as they said they wouldn't take me back, and the year I attacked a priest (which I feel really bad for now), out of everyone in the world- why someone as holy as a priest?
when I came out, I was left with nothing, and I felt so bad, and so angry I wasn't dead, I tried again a few weeks later.

I don't know how long this lasted, a long time, but eventually things did smooth out and I got back to normal.

talking about all that's made me feel ugg

pretty triggered and stuff.
question:

have you ever thought about becoming a therapist?. do you think you could do it?