I think being scared to die is natural, and all of us (at 1 point, or still) are afraid of death

me, for example, I know I put on a brave face about.. oh well, it's the circle of life, it happens, life goes on, but I think that's a lie.

deep down I am terrified of it. terrified of not being able to do things I can now

even simple things.. listen to music, breav air, smile at someone.. they sound simple things, because for now we take them for granted, but their will come a time...

as for blaming abusers, I would hope that 1 day my family will realise what they have done to me, and make peace before they die (it is my biggist fear that I will die with unanswered questions)

but.. for now that's not the case

they still find ways to increase the abuse, find more people to join in, etc- and all this, what if today is your last day, what if you don't get a tomorrow, say everything you need to say now, I have so much to say to my family, so much inside which i'm not even allowed to say

it has been forbidden, by them

and it's sad