I wanted to say that what I posted in the other thread about letting go...
It was a very long process and very painful to ponder and concede. It takes great fortitude (which I know you have). I don't think I'd be here now if I hadn't come to the point that I could let go. Don't know about offing myself (which is always in the background), but since both parents have passed away now, I think by now I would be eaten up with anger about the unfairness of things. I.e. they got to live their lives and neglect me and treat me like I was a burden to them from day 1, and now they die and get away with it...and I have to build me a life even tho they made a mess of me.

I wish I had a way to really help you, but all I have is my own experiences.

Oh, and read my sig line. lol