My Support Forums - View Single Post - where do you draw the line between sensory issues & Aspergers?

Nike007 · Oct 12, 2017, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cln1812

Thanks so much. Yes, she is a very literal thinker. I often have to explain idioms to her, and she doesn't use them often in her speech. But, being so smart, once I've explained it, she usually remembers. She also has a tendency to put herself and her interests at the forefront - wants us talking her her stuff all the time, most especially random facts she gleans off the internet about My Little Ponies, all the generations of them, fake ponies poses that were most popular, I never knew there was even so much to know about My Little Ponies. She has the one friend she made, but this year, they have a different recess and she tells me she hates recess and just sits on the bench most days. (The friend is did make besides being a people person is also extremely empathic and good at reading all kinds of cues people make.) Sometimes, her conversations will be normal back and forth, but often, if I am asking her a question, I have to repeat myself many times. Then, she will snap at me that she heard me the first time (though she never answered or gave any sign of it) though usually these may be questions she doesn't like such as "Have you cleaned your room?", "How long have you been on your iPad?", etc.

One time the school did give her earphones for something now that you mention it. I think it was for lunchtime at kindergarten because she was not eating her lunch becausae of the noise and all that was going on around her. Kindergarten was really bad for her; one or other of her teachers was calling me daily. I had forgotten about the earphones, but she was really upset when I picked her up last Friday. The PTO was doing a fundraiser and they had some guy come up and get the kids all riled up about the fundraiser in the cafeteria, and she said the noise made her feel sick.

It is tough also to know what aspects of her behavior come from being an only child as well. And like I said, I am 99% sure my father has Asperger's. He just can't get on socially at all and just talks at people, not to them. I have zero relationship with my dad because of this. I don't dislike him, but my feelings towards him are complicated as he seemed to feel my love of reading fiction was a bad thing in school and that I should love to study electronics, mechanics, manuals, calculus, and physics. Now that I am a parent, I realize any parent would be proud and happy to have a child who loves to read, whether it's fiction or nonfiction. (And I wasn't bad at other subjects either - I graduated 1st in my class - I just loved English the most.) I definitely don't call him just to chat the way I do with my mom.

My husband is very resistant to getting her diagnosed and "labeled", but I think she would benefit, especially if the school had to offer the services. People don't just grow out of this right? Finances are tight since I don't work. My husband was not happy that I contacted the school counselor to arrange some therapy for my daughter so that she does not meltdown and scream at me from anywhere from 15 minutes to over an hour if things go wrong in her school day. I talk a little about her to my psychiatrist (I have bipolar), and she said it's likely all the constant stimuli at school make things worse for her with the obvious sensory issues. I wish I could bring her into to my psychiatrist for a proper diagnosis (she has a specialty in working with children), but I know my husband just wouldn't want to hear of it.

Hello, sorry for not replying sooner. I have been very busy lately.

So just using my own knowledge, I am a very literal thinker, but if someone explains to me an idiom, and the idiom actually makes sense (I still don't get the "money on your back" one), then I will know that it's an idiom, and its meaning.

When I was younger, I would always talk about my special interests, even if others were not interested in it. I couldn't read cues from other people that they were not interested in it, but this I have learned to cope with a lot better now. I now realize that people aren't interested in what I am interested in. I do sometimes ramble about my interest, but normally it isn't as long or as often as when I was younger.

Sometimes, at least for me, when someone asks me a question, I have to give an explanation or answer by talking about something else before I get into the answer to someone's question. Maybe it's like that for your daughter? Also, if you ask any kid about doing chores or spending too much time on electronics they will get mad at you. This isn't an unusual behaviour for any kid, so they may purposely ignore you because they don't want to stop doing something they enjoy or they don't want to do chores.

Was she fine with wearing headphones? Normally, for me, I like listening to music when it's noisy around me, since I can't stand pure quiet. But if your daughter likes pure quiet, you could use earplugs or those construction headphones. I hate the construction headphones though because I feel like my head is being compressed, so maybe like the noise-cancelling headphones. If your daughter was good wearing headphones or earplugs or whatever, then maybe you could talk to her teacher about allowing your daughter to use these during loud time periods in school. But if you do apply to get your daughter evaluated through the school for an IEP, then you could just add this as an accommodation.

Here is a link about setting up an IEP and getting an evaluation from ADDitude magazine. They are a site targeted for people with AD/HD, but many of the articles on here I find helpful more myself since they share many symptoms:
https://www.additudemag.com/504-plan...ons-at-school/

I do know that some people are against the idea of getting "labelled" with certain conditions like autism because they are afraid of the stigma associated with it. I like using the approach of analyzing the pros and cons of each. Is getting your daughter diagnosed with autism more beneficial or harmful? Is it worth the accommodations and services you can get for having a child with autism more beneficial than not? This is how I deal with things, since I think very logically, and like using facts when deciding something.

Autism is not something one can "out-grow", but they can learn to manage their symptoms better. I am a lot better in terms of managing my obsessive interest, but it doesn't mean that I don't have one anymore. It's just less noticeable to others. Autism is a life-long condition.

Are you covered for your pdoc, in terms of money? Are you able to ask your pdoc if she specializes in autism in female children, or girls with autism? Would it be possible to set up an appointment with your pdoc for your daughter?

In the end though, it is a decision between you and your partner on whether you would like her evaluated. I hope my information helps you though.