Quote:
Originally Posted by Desoxyn
I'm scared.
Meth helps me forget everything. Life.. Happiness blanket covers me. In the end, I have no experience to grow naturally.
Psychedelics like LSD and shrooms make me face my fear. Only to make me slip deeper into the unknown.
I feel... What do I feel? I don't know anymore. I never did.
Time pases by and I end up scarred by the lack of experience to deal with things.
The lure to go back to the drugs is high.. Because when I do the drug.. I never really feel high. I feel numb.
In the end, the anxiety is too much, making me numb anyways but with added anxiety.
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Psychedelics never made me face my fears; they made everything rosy. A handful of boomers or some white microdot gave me euphoria. But my problems were still there when I came down. The closest thing to meth we had back in the dark ages (70s) was MDA (
methylenedioxyamphetamine) which was something of a psychedelic itself but did not have the highly addictive effect of meth. I think you could get addicted but it didn't make you want more every day. Anyway, all these things made me miss out on a lot of life. You're right about lacking experience dealing with things, but sooner or later you have to deal with them, whether you are high or not.
Numb is not feeling things. Your post is full of feelings IMO. Without the drugs, I was better equipped to deal with the ups and downs of everyday life. Feeling them more completely is a rich experience that can be more heady than the drugs. Kick them to the curb and give it a try.