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I have not forgiven my father for what he did to my Mom, my brothers and sisters and I. He's been gone for 11 years now. I have no regrets for not forgiving him. He even passed away on my birthday, and though I know it's a ridiculous thought, I can't help but thinking he did it on purpose. The names he called me, my mom, all of us are ingrained into me so deeply that when I get really stressed and turn on myself, it's his words that chastise me. I am reminded daily of the horrible things he did, things I witnessed. Emotional torture. No, I don't feel bad for not forgiving. And I don't forgive others that traumatized me during those years either.
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"Do you know what’s really scary? You want to forget something. Totally wipe it off your mind. But you never can. It can’t go away, you see. And… and it follows you around like a ghost."
~ A Tale of Two Sisters (Janghwa, Hongryeon) (2003)
"I feel like an outsider, and I always will feel like one. I’ve always felt that I wasn’t a member of any particular group."
~ Anne Rice
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