Desoxyn,

I could really relate to your posts. I only ever used alcohol, but in really large quantities, and it was to numb out. The first year I got sober, I had two emotions, burst into tears despair, and fly off the handle rage. I alternated between the two. It wasn't pleasant. I've been working on this sobriety thing for a very long time, and I still have trouble with emotions, and want to use alcohol to numb out. It's hard, but for me, it's definitely better for me being sober and learning to deal with emotions than being plastered,and numb, and not accomplishing anything for days.

Hang in there.

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