Quote:
Originally Posted by ruby2011
I know coworkers are not obligated to be friendly, just courteous. And if she had never been friendly, I woulda never looked up to her. She was nice to me and liked me until she realized I look up to her.
Looking up to someone generally means admiring their qualities, wanting to be like them, and wanting to be around them.
I was too embarrassed to reveal it before, but that colleague I look up to is my supervisor. And I'm so mad right now. Earlier this week, the district manager (her boss) told me (and documented it) that I shouldn't just come in on my days off. She said I've been doing that too much. And I shouldn't listen in to a conversation she had with my supervisor. Ok fine. But then, a few of my coworkers revealed that they also looked up to my supervisor and she doesn't get mad at them. Now I'm simmering with jealousy.
One of these coworkers had a birthday recently. My supervisor wrote happy birthday on her schedule. So I went in on my off day to request she do the same for me. It got back to me that she would. I just need to give her my b-day and my caseworker's phone number. WTF ever! I'm done.
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You’ve touched on here that you have a very weak sense of yourself. Normally, people feel comfortable with being who they are, even when they meet someone whom they admire and respect. This is one thing you should address with a therapist. You have put yourself down here.
Wanting to be around them— should not go further than boundaries dictate.
Going in on your day off to request the supervisor acknowledge your birthday when it comes is off-putting, needy, petty, clingy, and really strange behavior. Do you have a diagnosis that the supervisor knows about? You mentioned a case worker. Is this job a special arrangement due to you having a mental health issue? If so, that would make your behavior more acceptable, as the workplace was “special” to you. But, a regular situation, this is not acceptable behavior.